I would like to thank Bill Shouldis and the gods of metal for making this interview happen. Enjoy!
AbsolutePunk.net: Let's start things off with names and one or two of your favorite, most brutal moments as Dethklok.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf - Dat would be Murderface's feet stink. William Murderface - Aww fuck you! Nathan Explosion - That would be one and two. Pickles - Yea for each horrible smelly foot. Toki Wartooth - Whats about when da fans gots exploded by the pyrontechnicals? Pickles - Compared to those feet!?
AP.net: I know that you hate your fans, but does the carnage at shows ever affect you?
P - Makes me giggle and then I can lose timing.
AP.net: The recent death row performance was one of the most creative concerts in the history of the universe. How did that gig come about?
NE - Ask the guy in the suit. TW - Yea asks the dildo.
AP: As a band, if you had to name one special person outside of the group, a confidante if you will, who would it be? Seal? Lars Ulrich?
WM - Charles Manson SS - Bills Cosby TW - Emerils P - Rob Duke's wife NE - Yea, Rob Duke's wife.
AP.net: How are your families doing? Please send them my best.
DK - Aww Fuck you! We thought you were cool. What the Fuck?!
AP.net: This question is for Mr. Explosion: Artists usually choose to write lyrics about real life experiences or fantasy situations. What makes you so versatile that you can write a song like "The Lost Vikings" and follow it up with ultra-realistic "Birthday Dethday?"
NE - Megalented.
AP.net: I'm most interested in Murderface's response, but I'll open it to everyone: What persons, places, events, torture sessions, etc. have influenced each member the most? Basically, what made each of you pick up your respective instruments and start melting faces?
WM - The civil war had more amputations than any other war,,,The battlefield surgeries alone dwarfed all the gruesomeness of American wars combined. Brother against brother. millions dead. And my fingers are to fat to play guitar.
AP.net: Who are the worst people making music right now? Name as many people as you like.
WM - Ladies SS - And kids. TW - Yea, kids make the worst music. They cant's even do it. P - Yea, fat kids taking piano lessons...the woooooooorrrsst! NE - And Canadians...Yuk.
AP.net: When was the last time any of you heard from Dr. Rockso? Are there any collaboration plans between Dethklok and the Rock N' Roll Clown in the works?
NE - God! I'd rather talk about my family. I hope he's dead. TW - Hey, dat's my friend. He makes me laugh..Ha..hahahahha. WM -Toki shutup.
AP.net: Are secret, government organizations metal?
TW - Fact WM - Fiction NE - Fact SS - Fiction P - Tiebreakkkkeeeeer! NE - What? P(drunk) - Huh?
AP.net: Since Toki and Skwisgaar originally speak Swedish and Norwegian respectively, what are their favorite newly learned English words?
TW - Coloosstomzeees baguettes SS - Toast.
AP.net: "Thunderhorse" was a great choice for inclusion on Guitar Hero 2. How did Dethklok get involved with the videogame world? Are any of you gamers? Duke Nukem always seemed like a Judas Priest type of guy.
NE - Ask the suits! TW - Yea asks the dildos!
AP.net: How many cock pushups constitute a proper cock workout?
WM - Depends on how slippery the mouth mat that your doing the cock pushups in the ass gym on sex street. NE - Oh, In the city of underpants. Right? Huh? Come on!
AP.net: Pickles, when will Snakes 'N Barrels grace the world with new music, if ever?
AP.net: Perhaps the most metal question of all time: How would each of you like to die?
SS - Shittings on somes lipsticks lesbians. P - Oh thats good...I steal it. TW - I steals it too. WM - Just shitting for me. NE - Yea, just shitting.....Just...Sjitting.
AP.net: Finally, thanks so much for your time. I know interviews can be pretty lame and it's hard to decapitate babies through Email, but I digress. Any closing remarks for the readers of AbsolutePunk.net?