[TheJustinBriggs]

Just looking for a little feedback to some lyrics my guitarist wrote, I feel like the 2nd verse should be changed a little bit.


Once more I'm thrown into the unknown
That black abyss where nothing is certain anymore
I don't know if I'll make it out alive, I don't know if I'll make it out alive
One more year you have to be apart from me
Once more I have to wait patiently
I don't know if we'll make it out alive, I don't know if we'll make it out alive.

Breath in slowly
Stay calm and focus on the problem
I know I have been forgotten.
The pieces lay at my feet, smoothed from hours of erosive worrying
Will you ever remember me? Will you remember how it used to be?

And I can't wait for you any longer
The world stops for no one person and you're no exeption
And I can't wait for you forever
You had your chance and you ruined it.
The waiting is over

Stop me if you heard this one before
Saying "it will be just fine, it will be ok, we will make now, some how, some way"
If you mean what you say then prove it to me
Show me something, show me something

Run run as fast as you can
You can never catch me, I can't change the past
Watch your world come to a grinding halt
This is my life, and it's all your fault.

[caliagent702]

the 3rd verse seems out of place. it gives off a different attitude, like he's finally tired of waiting.
and then in the 4th verse, it seems like there's still a chance, and he's waiting for it.

maybe switching those 2 verses makes sense story wise, but maybe his angles is that he can't decide whether he's ready to move on or not, and he's going back and forth.

[TheJustinBriggs]

Originally Posted by caliagent702

the 3rd verse seems out of place. it gives off a different attitude, like he's finally tired of waiting.
and then in the 4th verse, it seems like there's still a chance, and he's waiting for it.

maybe switching those 2 verses makes sense story wise, but maybe his angles is that he can't decide whether he's ready to move on or not, and he's going back and forth.

I'll make sure to pass that on to him thanks man!

[piao58241]

I'll make sure to pass that on to him thanks man!I was clicked the site you provide, But I cann't find the goods I want , Can you provide another site?








----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dimmable led downlights

[JBass]

that is pretty good

[Grohl]

The first verse or two had me iffy, but the last bit was better. Just keep at it, it'll all smooth out.

[Stella Jones]

Not Bad. :Obamameme: