Male - 29 Years Old
First, I wold like to say the whole "work it out on your own" results in both of you or one of you ending up in a rebound relationship. I know this from experience.
If you truly love this girl, then you will do one of two things, sit down and have a serious talk. About how you feel, and about how she feels. Second is, if you're not working but she is working 60 miles away I think that says something, maybe its time to move to find work? Maybe its time to explore options that work for both of you. If you truly don't want to lose this person then you have to buck up. I have to say, I felt like I was in the right, I was working for the Department of National Defense bringing home 73k a year, she didn't have to work, we had a child and a huge house, two cars, but she was bored out of her mind because we lived out of the city so she couldn't really go do things with friends. I ignored this, she also said multiple times that she wished I would come home and give her a kiss and say I missed her. Even though we talked almost every hour during the day telling each other "I love you", in the end it just ended up in divorce and hatred towards me because that's how she ended up dealing with it internally.
People are creatures of individuality and uniqueness, while one person might stand from the outside saying "she's obviously crazy" or something of the sort they might be themselves going home to similar situations or doing just as stupid things to save a relationship because they too love someone.
So I think in the end the most important steps are to question how you would feel if you truly couldnt be with this person, and had to endure them being with someone else because you wouldn't make a few minor changes that you probably need to make anyways.
For example the whole napping when your kid naps, I have to say I'm sorry but I agree that it's kind of a stupid excuse when you don't have a job. I have a child and I work nightshift in a Data Center. When I leave work Saturday morning I pick up my son and I don't go to bed till that night when he does. This means I'm up over 24 hours and going to museums and parks and play-groups and then drop him off Monday night on my way to work at his mothers. I wish me and his mother never left each other because I'll never love anyone like her again and all because I didn't make a few stupid changes that whether you think they matter or not might mean the world to someone else. You only live once, and you only get one chance with the person that might be the one who haunts your life for not making a few simple changes. So rather than coming online and seeking advice I would look inside and take some time to sit down and really talk about things with each other before you either realize its too late and there is nothing you can do, or you've wasted x amount of years for no reason and you will never be happy.