AbsolutePunk.net
   Username
Password
 
Share
06:09 PM on 09/28/12 
#1
Offline
User Info.
fallfromgrace85
CephaLOVEpod
fallfromgrace85's Avatar
Nashville, TN
Female - 25 Years Old
My boyfriend and I have a pretty good thing going. We get along well and share many of the same opinions on certain subjects. We are both very driven people, and I'm very pleased to have found him. He's a real gentleman, I respect him immensely, and I can't really put into words how much I'm growing to care for him. We are, however, in the process of coming out of the "honeymoon phase", and learning which of each others' ticks and quirks happen to get on our bad side (so to speak).

Today, during a conversation, he mentioned that it pisses him off when I am passive aggressive. The statement utterly floored me. I was confused, although I acknowledged and apologized for being moody a few nights ago - I was frustrated with the fact that I will have to begin waiting tables again, and I got a little snappy with him. He dismissed that entirely, saying, "I can deal with snappy, but its your moody silences that get to me".

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear "passive aggressive" is "manipulative" - flat out, I told him that's the last thing I want to be. However, after thinking about it, I really don't understand the concept of passive aggression. I don't want this to be something that could potentially drive a wedge between us.

The AP.net community has always been great with advice, and I could really use some here. Do any of you here have experience with passive aggressive people or are you passive aggressive yourself? How can I work on ... I don't know, essentially not acting that way? I want to express my emotions in a healthy manner and not let it become something that could destroy my relationship.

Thank you all :)
07:41 PM on 09/28/12 
#2
Offline
User Info.
TorontoMatt
No Avatar Selected
If he doesn't like part of your personality it's going to be pretty hard to change. Deal with it.
08:03 PM on 09/28/12 
#3
Offline
User Info.
.invisible ink.
honey bunny that's the funny thing
.invisible ink.'s Avatar
omnipresent
Female
Can he give you some specific examples of when you were passive aggressive toward him so you can try and figure out his definition?

If you're always late or act like your time is more important than his might be some good examples of passive aggressive behaviors you didn't realize you possessed. I know that I am very conscious of people who are always late, it is so disrespectful and most people have absolutely no concept of how that might come across.
08:16 PM on 09/28/12 
#4
Offline
User Info.
kianacarly
I'm living it, leaving it to change
kianacarly's Avatar
PNW
Female - 22 Years Old
I agree that you should ask him for examples of when you are passive aggressive so you can know when to look out for it, and see how he defines it. There are different degrees of it too, so it's not like it means you're this awful person or anything. Ask him to be specific and to point it out when he thinks you're acting that way so you know. I have an ex who was the absolute worst passive aggressive manipulator of all time, and before we broke up the only thing to curb it was to call him out on it. Sometimes people don't always realize they're doing it. It doesn't sound like you do, so just ask him to communicate with you.
09:34 PM on 09/28/12 
#5
Offline
User Info.
anamericangod
anamericangod's Avatar
Georgia
Male - 28 Years Old
Verified
Looks like you're fucked.
09:54 PM on 09/28/12 
#6
Offline
User Info.
upthepunx
Regular Member
upthepunx's Avatar
San Diego, CA
Male - 24 Years Old
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

here's some awesome passive aggressive stuff. Sidenote: anytime I post a link i feel like a robot selling viagra, but I'm not.

About the passive aggressiveness, I'm sure it bugs him, but at least your working on it. Nobody is perfect. If I had ever told any of my girlfriends that I didn't like their "passive-aggressive moodiness" I would likely not be alive. I was gonna' say that I would have gotten laid less, but you can't get laid less than zero times.
09:57 PM on 09/28/12 
#7
Offline
User Info.
Palestinian
Unregistered User
No Avatar Selected
Bay Area, CA
Male - 20 Years Old
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/ here's some awesome passive aggressive stuff. Sidenote: anytime I post a link i feel like a robot selling viagra, but I'm not.

Do what robots don't do and use hyperlinks like so so we're sure.
09:59 PM on 09/28/12 
#8
Offline
User Info.
ChristianLFTW
How YOU doin'?
ChristianLFTW's Avatar
New Jersey
Male
Do what robots don't do and use hyperlinks like so so we're sure.
If anything bots seem to use hyperlinks in random words.
10:01 PM on 09/28/12 
#9
Offline
User Info.
Palestinian
Unregistered User
No Avatar Selected
Bay Area, CA
Male - 20 Years Old
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

here's some awesome passive aggressive stuff. Sidenote: anytime I post a link i feel like a robot selling viagra, but I'm not.

About the passive aggressiveness, I'm sure it bugs him, but at least your working on it. Nobody is perfect. If I had ever told any of my girlfriends that I didn't like their "passive-aggressive moodiness" I would likely not be alive. I was gonna' say that I would have gotten laid less, but you can't get laid less than zero times.

Ahahahahah

If anything bots seem to use hyperlinks in random words.

They're taking overrrrrrrrrrrrr
12:41 PM on 09/29/12 
Offline
User Info.
SimplyMyself
I rip at the entrance in vain
SimplyMyself's Avatar
My boyfriend and I have a pretty good thing going. We get along well and share many of the same opinions on certain subjects. We are both very driven people, and I'm very pleased to have found him. He's a real gentleman, I respect him immensely, and I can't really put into words how much I'm growing to care for him. We are, however, in the process of coming out of the "honeymoon phase", and learning which of each others' ticks and quirks happen to get on our bad side (so to speak).

Today, during a conversation, he mentioned that it pisses him off when I am passive aggressive. The statement utterly floored me. I was confused, although I acknowledged and apologized for being moody a few nights ago - I was frustrated with the fact that I will have to begin waiting tables again, and I got a little snappy with him. He dismissed that entirely, saying, "I can deal with snappy, but its your moody silences that get to me".

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear "passive aggressive" is "manipulative" - flat out, I told him that's the last thing I want to be. However, after thinking about it, I really don't understand the concept of passive aggression. I don't want this to be something that could potentially drive a wedge between us.

The AP.net community has always been great with advice, and I could really use some here. Do any of you here have experience with passive aggressive people or are you passive aggressive yourself? How can I work on ... I don't know, essentially not acting that way? I want to express my emotions in a healthy manner and not let it become something that could destroy my relationship.

Thank you all :)

Everyone has their moments, and when he pisses you off one of these days you'll realize it's just a human nature thing. I would not worry about it. However, if you're intentionally jerking him this way and that with your statements (do get a reaction or something of that nature) and acting very obviously unstable, you may have a problem.
06:41 PM on 09/29/12 
Offline
User Info.
Spencer Control
Yeah I still burn from time to time
Spencer Control's Avatar
My boyfriend and I have a pretty good thing going. We get along well and share many of the same opinions on certain subjects. We are both very driven people, and I'm very pleased to have found him. He's a real gentleman, I respect him immensely, and I can't really put into words how much I'm growing to care for him. We are, however, in the process of coming out of the "honeymoon phase", and learning which of each others' ticks and quirks happen to get on our bad side (so to speak).

Today, during a conversation, he mentioned that it pisses him off when I am passive aggressive. The statement utterly floored me. I was confused, although I acknowledged and apologized for being moody a few nights ago - I was frustrated with the fact that I will have to begin waiting tables again, and I got a little snappy with him. He dismissed that entirely, saying, "I can deal with snappy, but its your moody silences that get to me".

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear "passive aggressive" is "manipulative" - flat out, I told him that's the last thing I want to be. However, after thinking about it, I really don't understand the concept of passive aggression. I don't want this to be something that could potentially drive a wedge between us.

The AP.net community has always been great with advice, and I could really use some here. Do any of you here have experience with passive aggressive people or are you passive aggressive yourself? How can I work on ... I don't know, essentially not acting that way? I want to express my emotions in a healthy manner and not let it become something that could destroy my relationship.

Thank you all :)

First place I would start is asking him to define your passive-aggression.
07:03 AM on 10/01/12 
Offline
User Info.
herestoyoufla
Still starin' down the sun
herestoyoufla's Avatar
Tallahassee, FL
Male - 23 Years Old
The AP.net community has always been great with advice?
11:31 AM on 10/01/12 
Offline
User Info.
XjoseoleXX
Registered User
XjoseoleXX's Avatar
Male - 25 Years Old
anal
/endthread
12:11 PM on 10/01/12 
Offline
User Info.
allthewaysaid
Have a feeling I'll die in my20s...
allthewaysaid's Avatar
Texas
Male - 22 Years Old
My boyfriend and I have a pretty good thing going. We get along well and share many of the same opinions on certain subjects. We are both very driven people, and I'm very pleased to have found him. He's a real gentleman, I respect him immensely, and I can't really put into words how much I'm growing to care for him. We are, however, in the process of coming out of the "honeymoon phase", and learning which of each others' ticks and quirks happen to get on our bad side (so to speak).

Today, during a conversation, he mentioned that it pisses him off when I am passive aggressive. The statement utterly floored me. I was confused, although I acknowledged and apologized for being moody a few nights ago - I was frustrated with the fact that I will have to begin waiting tables again, and I got a little snappy with him. He dismissed that entirely, saying, "I can deal with snappy, but its your moody silences that get to me".

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear "passive aggressive" is "manipulative" - flat out, I told him that's the last thing I want to be. However, after thinking about it, I really don't understand the concept of passive aggression. I don't want this to be something that could potentially drive a wedge between us.

The AP.net community has always been great with advice, and I could really use some here. Do any of you here have experience with passive aggressive people or are you passive aggressive yourself? How can I work on ... I don't know, essentially not acting that way? I want to express my emotions in a healthy manner and not let it become something that could destroy my relationship.

Thank you all :)


Anal is the only real answer here. Yes, filled with great advice.
11:35 AM on 10/02/12 
Offline
User Info.
drat!
How much cheese is too much cheese?
drat!'s Avatar
PA
Male - 28 Years Old
Just communicate your feelings when you're upset/moody so he knows how you feel and give him a blowjob. You can tell him I said you're welcome.



NEWS, MUSIC & MORE
Search News
Release Dates
Exclusives
Best New Music
Articles
CONNECT
Submit News
Forums
Contests
Mobile Version
AP.net Logos
HIDDEN TREASURES
AbsolutePunk Podcast
Free Music
Sports Forum
Technology Forum
Recommendations
INFORMATION
Advertising
Contact Us
Copyright Policy
Terms of Service
Privacy Policy
FOLLOW
Twitter | Facebook | RSS
PropertyOfZack
UnderTheGun
Purevolume
Chorus.fm | @jason_tate