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Welcome Gwar Guitarist Pustulus Maximus

Posted by: Alex DiVincenzo (10/01/12)
Gwar have announced Pustulus Maximus as their new lead guitarist. Read the awesome press release below.
Press ReleaseIt was a little less than a year ago that the world was rocked by the passing of Flattus Maximus, back to the cosmos from whence he came. And since that day fans of GWAR have wondered how the mighty overlords of GWAR would deal with the void it left within the band. GWAR responded the only way they knew how-by soldiering on-and continued to play as a four-piece. But from the very beginning of that phase, the quest began to find the new Scumdog that was in every way as magnificent as his predecessor.

Today the members of GWAR are pleased to inform their legions of followers, and even more so their many enemies, that once again the band is whole, with the proclamation that long-lost cousin of Flattus, Pustulus Maximus, has officially joined the band in the position of lead guitarist, and will join with the group on their upcoming Fate Or Chaos tour.

Pustulus offered his first words to the press with the following, "At this point I have nothing to say to the press, even though I am talking to you. I will let my guitar speak for itself. But let me add that I am blood-sworn to honor the legacy of the great Flattus and indeed the whole Maximus tribe. I didn't come here to fuck around. HAIL FLATTUS!"

But how did all of this come to pass? It was easy to get a quote from GWAR lead singer, Oderus Urungus: "Naturally we were devastated by the passing of Flattus. But we turned that grief into rage and set about the task of finding a new guitar player. The first thing we did was sound the mighty Horn of Hate, and alert all Scumdogs, scattered across the galaxy as they are, as to what had occurred. What people didn't know about Flattus was that was is part of a huge tribe of brutish warriors, The Maximus Clan. They are at the core of any Scumdog Legion worth its blood! Planet Maximus is just crawling with them!"

Oderus farted, blowing a hole in the wall, and continued: "Many of the tribe had fought and even played in bands with Flattus, and we began to get messages from across the stars. The Scumdogs were coming! Coming to Earth to lay tracks on our new album, and pay tribute to the mighty Flattus. Soon the War-Barges of Maximus tribe members began to appear in Earth's orbit...and land outside our great temple! Bubonis, Infectitcus, Fartacus, and many more-all have participated in the creation of the songs that shall be on our new album, which will be out sometime next year. But it was not until the hulking form of Pustulus appeared at the studio door, bloody guitar in hand, that we knew we had our new member. Here was a being that was supposedly born with a guitar in his fist, which of course resulted in the death of his beloved mother, whose body he immediately devoured. If anyone can replace our beloved comrade, it is this foul creature. Because he can fucking shred."

Little else is known about this being, other than that he has a skin condition where his face and feet are covered in painful pustules that can only be soothed by the application of savage metal, spoiled elephant semen or oral sex. Pustulus is also rumored to be half-deaf, which leads him to yell at everyone, which he does often, because he is convinced everyone in the band is ignoring him when actually he just can't hear what they are saying. It is not known whether he crashed his Scumship into Antarctica or wandered up from the depths of GWAR's Antarctic fortress - all that is known is that he is here, now, and is ready to rock.
 
Displaying posts 1 - 15 of 22
03:09 PM on 10/01/12
#2
Alex DiVincenzo
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03:26 PM on 10/01/12
#3
WhoSaidThat?
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03:29 PM on 10/01/12
#4
Steve Alcala
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That's cool for them. Not bagging on them but I don't know if I'd ever be able to continue a band if a member and close friend passed away.
03:41 PM on 10/01/12
#5
Alex DiVincenzo
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That's cool for them. Not bagging on them but I don't know if I'd ever be able to continue a band if a member and close friend passed away.
Undoubtedly hard, but the band has been going for nearly 30 years.
03:54 PM on 10/01/12
#6
bobcatbob18
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While I'm not the biggest fan of their albums, their live show is fucking unbelievable. I knew what to expect going in but my god... one of the most entertaining things I have ever seen.
03:55 PM on 10/01/12
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kidinthebushes
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I saw them for the first time at Riot Fest a few weeks ago and thought they weren't much more than a gimmick.
04:01 PM on 10/01/12
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swboyd
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I saw them for the first time at Riot Fest a few weeks ago and thought they weren't much more than a gimmick.
They've definitely made a nice 25 year career out of a nice gimmick. It takes a certain amount of appreciation to understand GWAR. I wouldn't imagine a lot of people on the site appreciate the aspects of their live show that make them so fucking awesome.

Side note: The new guitarist is pretty damn good. I've seen him play live with Cannabis Corpse and he can bring it.
04:44 PM on 10/01/12
#9
emerson1892
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Love these dudes!
05:18 PM on 10/01/12
SamKS
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That's cool for them. Not bagging on them but I don't know if I'd ever be able to continue a band if a member and close friend passed away.
The band is also what feeds them and pays the bills. It's their "job" so it may be hard to just be able to quit that. I do feel where you're coming from though.
05:28 PM on 10/01/12
GlassyLight
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I saw them for the first time at Riot Fest a few weeks ago and thought they weren't much more than a gimmick.
Not trying to stir shit, but do you listen to any sort of old-school metal? It's quite a bit different than modern, super polished stuff and is worth a listen if you like heavy music. Their early stuff is some great crossover-thrashy stuff, and ever since the comeback, they've been releasing truly solid albums. Lust in Space is my favorite of the new ones, and America Must Be Destroyed is a minor classic in my mind.
06:01 PM on 10/01/12
Steve Alcala
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The band is also what feeds them and pays the bills. It's their "job" so it may be hard to just be able to quit that. I do feel where you're coming from though.
Yeah I gotcha. I just mean the emotional perspective rather than business or anything. And like Alex said they've been runnin for 25 years, it makes sense for them to keep at it.
06:25 PM on 10/01/12
blackmold
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They've definitely made a nice 25 year career out of a nice gimmick. It takes a certain amount of appreciation to understand GWAR. I wouldn't imagine a lot of people on the site appreciate the aspects of their live show that make them so fucking awesome.

Side note: The new guitarist is pretty damn good. I've seen him play live with Cannabis Corpse and he can bring it.

Yeah, I would think if you saw them live when you've already decided that they're just a stupid gimmick band then their live show wouldn't change your mind. You need an open mind to enjoy their live show.
06:52 PM on 10/01/12
PirateSkater182
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Glad they have a replacement and decided to continue. One of the funnest live shows I've ever seen.
07:14 PM on 10/01/12
kbomb001
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LET US SLAY~
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