Male - 20 Years Old
I've been thinking about this for a little while and I need some advice. I wasn't really sure where else to go.
In high school, I had a few friends, but none of them were really into things I'm into. I went away to college and made friends who would watch anime and play video games with me. I felt like I'd really found my niche. Whenever I'd come home and was around my friends here, I felt like I had to suppress all of that around them. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends from home, but it'd be nice if I could talk about things I like with people who actually care. It makes me just feel out of place and lonely whenever I try to get them into things that I like or I hear them talking about what they do with their other friends.
I've been at home for a few semesters while I figure things out with my major, but I'm going away again in the fall. As of now, I'm supposed to room with one of my friends from back home. The original plan was that the two of us were going to room together; it will be her first semester there, and she didn't really know anyone (the one or two people she does know have living plans already). She wanted to room with a third person to try to reduce the costs, and I agreed, telling her that I had a few friends who needed roommates. In the end, she wound up making a friend back home at her community college, who is supposed to be rooming with us. I didn't really know her, but after meeting her a few times, she seemed alright. On the other hand, it went from me rooming with a friend who didn't really know anyone to me rooming becoming the third wheel.
This past weekend, we went down to the school (which is three and a half hours away) to search for apartments. We decided on a good one, and I spent time with my friends while I was down there since I don't get that opportunity very often. I thought that she and her friend had made plans, but they wound up tagging along with me for parts of the weekend. I went to the anime club's game night, played video games with my friends (who were being super loud and really into it), and stayed up until 4:30 watching cartoons with my friends. This is what our typical weekend hangouts are like when I visit (and when I went there). Whenever they were with me, they looked bored out of their minds and would intentionally make comments about how they didn't want to be there. (Note: I was not forcing them to stay there, and they both did have other people they wanted to see, so I don't know what was going on there.) On the other hand, it could have just been because we were all up since 4:30 in the morning so we could arrive early enough to meet with the apartment people.
As we were leaving to come home, they said that my friends were "really nerdy, but really nice," and it suddenly hit me that if I room with them, not only will I be the third wheel on a regular basis, but I'll have to go back to repressing all of my "nerdy" interests, aka basically everything that I care about that isn't music. This school was supposed to be a sanctuary where I could escape hiding away that part of my life, but if I room with them, I fear that I'd never be able to have friends over to do stuff because they'd be complaining about it the whole time or rolling their eyes or just generally being condescending like they usually are. It doesn't help that when they asked their friend to visit us once we moved in, they said, "You can bring some normalcy to nerd central," so I'm assuming they're going to try to limit how often my friends and I do that stuff in the apartment since they obviously have a problem with it. I also hate that my friend is so condescending about it, but I should've expected it since that what it's always like with my friends back home.
One other semi-related thing is that it made me realize that she goes to bed (and gets up) waaay earlier than I do, which will probably become an issue, especially on the weekends.
I guess the reason why I made this thread is that I want to know if I'm being petty or stupid for considering not rooming with them over these things. Note that nothing has been finalized yet (so I won't be ruining any actual plans to live together) and if I leave, they will still have each other to room with, so I wouldn't be ditching her and leaving her behind. I don't expect everyone on here to understand my situation, but if someone does, I'd appreciate some help.