He died in surgery. When I heard the news my first reaction was disbelief and anger. When I saw his body I started bawling. A couple hours later and now I feel completely empty. I can't cry. I feel a lot of weight in my chest but I can't cry. He was a good father. He loved me. I can't wrap my mind around the idea that he's gone. It seems like I'm going to see him tomorrow. Like we're going to see another movie at the theater. Don't feel like typing any more right now.
I lost my father last Summer, you describe your feelings exactly as I felt my own. My father was one of the only friends I had outside of my wife and our children, losing him was truly losing a piece of myself. I want you to know that it gets easier. You never forget, you never stop hurting but you...come to accept the space missing in your heart. You learn to laugh again, to remember the one you lost without crying.
As I'm writing this, I have that same feeling in the core of my being that I felt when I lost my father. But that feeling lets me know that he's still there, that I haven't forgotten and that I never will.
These are my feelings, of course, and yours might be different. But for what it's worth, you're not alone in this.