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12:59 PM on 01/14/14
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kaylasananjou's Avatar
Wow fantastic read.

I also really thought the Brendan Kelly interview with Tom (Laura) in there was a very nice touch
Please don't refer to her as Tom. She has told us for years now what her name is, and there's no reason for the name "Tom" to be used anymore. Not trying to be rude or start anything-- just be considerate of her wishes.
11:50 PM on 01/14/14
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kaylasananjou's Avatar
So it's only appropriate to call her Laura even when referring to times when she was ostensibly living as a male? You've gotta have some leeway for the fact that most people haven't dealt personally with trans people and aren't sure of all the etiquette. Otherwise you're just making people with good intentions feel alienated for not knowing the right things to say. I imagine if I had a friend who came out as trans I would make plenty of mistakes with pronouns, etc.
The etiquette of trans people is calling them their chosen name and chosen pronouns. I wasn't hostile or impolite about it in any way. I even specifically went out of my way to add that I wasn't trying to start anything or be an asshole. Your good intentions don't mean much if you can't manage to figure out which pronouns or names to use years after the person tells you which names or pronouns to use. Laura was a woman, and was Laura, even when she "lived as Tom Gabel." So...it's time to just stop it, and use what she wants us to use.
09:52 AM on 01/15/14
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kaylasananjou's Avatar
So, that's what was going on in between White Crosses and Transgender Dysphoria Blues. No wonder it took so damn long. Being a Streetlight Manifesto fan though, I'm used to long wait times between albums.

As far as naming goes, here's another thing to nitpick: If I'm referring to Heart Burns (that solo EP from 2008), should I use Tom Gabel since that's the name it was released under? I use the correct pronouns when referring to Laura Jane Grace currently and when referring to her actions in the past, but if I'm specifically referring to something having to do with her pre-transition life, I'll say Tom Gabel. I use say "she" and "her" regardless of whatever name, because she's a woman. Am I wrong/insensitive to do that? Serious question.

Wrong, yes, insensitive, nt really. Just uninformed. She has said that she wants to be referred to as Laura Jane Grace, and usually with trans people, they want to be called their chosen name rather than their birth name, since their birth name can cause dysphoria and make them feel like shit. So yes, at the time, she was using her birth name, but her name has been changed now, so you should use her chosen name even when referring to past works.

To a lesser extent, it's like if your name is Johnathan and peope used to call you Johnny when you were little, but you hate that nickname now and want to use John. You wouldn't want people to keep calling you Johnny just because you used to go by that.

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