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Karate High School Signs to Eyeball Records

Posted by - 06:26 PM on 11/11/08
Karate High School have announced their signing to Eyeball Records. An update from the chocolate chip cookie-lovin' (wink wink) band can be seen below.
UpdateIt's official: Karate High School has signed a deal with Eyeball Records.

This will probably be the shortest record deal in history, however, since I'm obviously going to die soon. This is because my dreams keep coming true, and I think it's carved in a 3000 year old oak tree somewhere that once you complete a certain number of accomplishments in your life, The Dude Upstairs With The White Beard decides that you've done enough and it's time for you to leave Earth and play harp among the clouds with Elvis and Bigfoot.

But before I die, Karate High School is going to make a few albums for Eyeball Records.

And before we get to that, I want to say something to every single one of you that bought our records, listened to our music, drove three hours to see a show, and told your friends about some unknown band called Karate High School:

Thank you for believing in us.

It's that simple.

I know it sounds cliché, but that doesn't make it any less true: without you, none of what we do is possible. To everyone who let us crash on their living room floors, wash our disgusting bodies in their showers, and let us raid their fridges even though we ate all the chocolate cake and blamed it on their drunken roommate after stepping in dog poop outside and tracking it into their house, Thank You. We simply could not have toured for years through the worst weather conditions with absolutely zero money if you hadn't been there to lift our spirits and help us believe that we should continue postponing our inevitable future positions at McDonald's. If I wasn't so worried about looking cool and maintaining my macho, tough-guy image, I'd cry right now and blow a rainbow-colored magic kiss to each and every one of you.

I couldn't be happier about the future of Karate High School, and about our new home on Eyeball. To be part of a label with amazing artists that I love and respect, with owners and employees that are hands-down the hardest working men in show-business is a dream come true.

Remember that scene at the end of Back To The Future when Doc Brown is sitting behind the wheel of the DeLorean, and just after he slides his titanium sunglasses over his face he states, "where we're going, we don't need…roads" and then the car lifts off the ground and flies into the sunset?

Yeah, I remember that scene too. I don't know what that has to do with I'm talking about, but Back To The Future is seriously fucking rad.

But anyways, let's recap: Karate High School has signed to Eyeball. I love you all dearly. I'm going to die soon. That's about it, folks.

We love all of you more than any human should ever love another human being,

Paul McGuire and the fine gentlemen of Karate High School

P.S. Oh, and if you feel the need to congratulate us, Karate High School's preferred cookie of choice is chocolate chip. Just sayin'.

Submitted by djsclaus
 
Displaying posts 1 - 15 of 47
06:33 PM on 11/11/08
#2
justletgo
i told you to be patient.
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Wow congrats, these are wicked nice guys.
But that was the weirdest reaction to a signing I've ever seen haha.
06:34 PM on 11/11/08
#3
krishasaheadake
Don't start no shit wont be no shit
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yes they have been on their roster page for a little while now.
06:34 PM on 11/11/08
#4
djsclaus
www.brandonmarshall.net
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These guys are local for me, and I'm so happy for them. Paul seems ecstatic
06:38 PM on 11/11/08
#5
Anton Djamoos
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yes they have been on their roster page for a little while now.
We posted about it back in August, but they made their announcement about it today. Counts as news.
07:00 PM on 11/11/08
#6
Easton Legacy
The Band Easton Legacy
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it used to say on their website "We DO NOT SIGN POP PUNK BANDS" haha. But anyway best of luck good luck to these guys, I hope they do well.
07:02 PM on 11/11/08
#7
applesandcyanid
Trollin' Absolutepunk.
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So pumped to see these guys in a week in NH with Lions Lions and You, Me and Everyone We Know!
07:04 PM on 11/11/08
#8
youareallfreaks
thoust dare quoth i?
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congrats, always thought this email i got a while back was weird though:


Hello,
This is David Dickens from Thunderdome Touring. I am open to packaging ideas to the below listed band for November 2007.

There is up to $10,000 in buy on money available for this run depending on the tour situation. The money is immediately available. I am sending this message VIA celebrity access, so many people are getting it. November plans fell through and we are looking to secure a solid run with a solid band for November.

Karate High School (EVO / UMG / Redeye Records)
  • Roughly 15,000 albums sold on the current album, new album out early September 2007 with a huge marketing plan.

Significant Tour History:
2007- September Direct support Eyes Set To Kill (Ads in AP magazine and Revolver)
2007- July 1-10 Warped Tour
2007 –June Direct Support- Bless the Fall
2006 - Support - Ernie Ball Showcase w/ Mute Math / Cute Is What We Aim For (west dates)
2006 - Support - Secret Lives of the Freemasons / Four Letter Lie / On The Last Day
2006 - Vans Warped Tour (West Coast Dates)
2006 - Taste of Chaos (West Coast Dates)
2006 - Support - From First To Last (Select West Coast Dates)

2005 - Support - Deftones / Revolution Smile (Mid - West Dates)
2005 - Support - Shortie / Still Life Projector Tour
2005 - Support - Papa Roach / Dead Poetic (West Coast Dates)
2005 - Support - Orgy (West Coast Dates)
2005 - Support - The Lipstick and Lies Tour
2005 - Support - Dog Fashion Disco / Tub Ring
2005 - Co-Headline - Look What I Did / Foxy Shazaam

Points of Interest:
2006 Ernie Ball Battle of the Bands Winner (Kevin Lyman selected the winner out of 10,000 band submissions)
Featured / Ads In Metal Edge, AP, Revolver AMP, MTV2 And Absolutepunk.net
Endorsed By Ernie Ball, Heartcore Clothing, Shine Drums, Krank Amplification, And Amp Energy Drinks
Ranked #1 on Purevolume's Top 10 Band List For The Week Of October 21st.
Over 600,000 Plays On MySpace And Over 46,000 Friends. (Averages Over 1,000 Plays A Day)
Over 600,000 Plays On Purevolume.com
Concrete Approved Commercial Featuring Arcade Rock Aired On MTV2
Distributed In Japan And Europe.
07:06 PM on 11/11/08
#9
MarsEatWorld
This is it.
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that was the funniest thing I have read all day...
I'm seeing the in two weeks.
Stoked.
07:13 PM on 11/11/08
RiCCioLi
Midtown Saves.
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KHS need to start getting more attention. Their first album is so freaking good and their new album is pretty damn catchy too. congratz to them
07:26 PM on 11/11/08
Shrillex
is awesome fo sho hoe
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congrats to them
07:29 PM on 11/11/08
ms_fairypants
Registered User
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congrats, i dig league of tomorrow quite a lot. i'm seeing these guys with you, me, and everyone we know in december.
07:39 PM on 11/11/08
jrtbighurt
[SOMEONEcallANambulance]
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I love Back to the Future.

EDIT: This band is rad too.
08:03 PM on 11/11/08
smorgy
There's no shame in crymaxing
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not a fan at all but congrats im seeing them in NH with ymaewk and ismfof
08:07 PM on 11/11/08
bummm
Slave 2 tha booty
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Awesome for them.

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