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Two Tongues - Two Tongues Album Cover

Two Tongues - Two Tongues

Reviewed by
6.5
Two Tongues - Two Tongues
Record Label: Vagrant Records
Release Date: February 3, 2009
Threesomes. The average guy (I canít speak for women, because I donít, and am not sure if I ever will, understand them) thinks about them quite a lot. From racy stories printed in your Playboys or Maxims to the porn you watch when itís Saturday night and everyone else has gone out, they always seem so fantastic, mythical even. The thought of it excites you and the knowledge that itís so hard to come by makes it legendary. You can tell all your friends and be known as the ďThreesome guy.Ē When you have a girlfriend, itís one of those things that you subtly joke about. But youíre not joking. You just want to gauge her reaction. Then it finally happens. Sheís expressing interest! Youíre already thinking of all the moves you can pull, making two girls feel ecstasy at once with your superior lovemaking skills. The long, overly detailed stories you will tell your best friends over a beer the next night. Itís all too perfect. Itís finally coming together!

But then itís never really quite what you expected. What you thought would be a no-holds-barred, sealed DVD experience never quite works out. A bunch of rules come into play. You canít touch the other girl, your girlfriend will get jealous! No one quite knows exactly what they are doing, how are you supposed to incorporate this new 3rd person? You suggest something youíve seen or read, and kill the momentum with your disgusting thoughts. There's lots of fumbling around, a smidgen of same sex erotica, and then nothing really. You go to bed unsatisfied, and think of the lie you are going to tell your friends at the bar the next day. Where did it all go wrong? How could pornography lie to you like this? Two fantastic women, you thought it would be so good. You wanted it to be so good.

Kind of like music supergroups really.

When fans heard Max Bemis of Say Anything and Chris Conley of Saves the Day were getting together to make sweet beautiful music, they were invited to the threesome of the year. What could go wrong? Both men have superior musical chops. Both men have interesting vocals and brilliant lyrical ability. In their own bands, their music has paved the way in the scene. Together, they put out a pop rock record, and not a terribly interesting one at that.

"Crawl" is a promising opener. The two voices, though incredibly different, compliment each other well. Conley is at his most nasal on this record, and some may find it grating. However his distinctive yelp contrasts perfectly with Bemisí deeper growl. Bemis sounds as he always does. He has one of the more unique deliveries in the scene today and it still works in the context of Two Tongues. You will notice immediately that the lyrics donít reach the height of either band. They contain neither the cutting wit of Bemis, nor the dark poetic imagery of Conley. Itís all standard boy likes girl stuff, and it continues throughout the album.

Musically, the album's not up to scratch either. Of course itís decent, radio-friendly stuff, not harmful to the ears stuff. It just feels like they could have done so much more based on their pedigree. Some songs have fairly catchy hooks; "Wowee Zowee" is a great cut, obvious single material. The most interesting track is "Back Against the Wall," with its pounding synth complimenting a nice guitar riff. Perhaps if they had tried more stuff like this the album would have been more interesting.

Unfortunately, Two Tongues is not the album everyone wanted it to be. While it has a number of good songs, none ever really reach greatness. Whatís worse is that the album has a number of plain, uninspired songs. No, the musical mťnage a trois ends up like they all do: lots of fumbling, a little awkward, and wonderment over why it wasnít what you always imagined it to be.

Recommended If You LikeSay Anything; Saves the Day; Your dreams becoming a not quite lovely reality

myspace.com/twotonguesrock
This review is a user submitted review from mastershake. You can see all of mastershake's submitted reviews here.
 
Displaying posts 1 - 15 of 15
12:50 PM on 03/13/09
#2
NickPeerSays
This Ain't A Surfin' Movie
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Perfect, exactly what I think about the album... and threesomes too I guess.
08:47 AM on 03/14/09
#3
thehereaway
snickers at the swine flu
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Haha, good review. One which a lot of people would agree with too i think. The only songs i enjoyed off this album were Crawl, If I Could Make You Do Things, Wowee Zowee & Silly Game.
09:51 AM on 03/14/09
#4
Iwudstilldie4u
UCSD's AP.net liaison
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This was very good review and of course I enjoyed the beginning very much. My favorite song is "Dead Lizard" because it has a dark, ominous feel, but I wish there was more Max in it
11:38 AM on 03/14/09
#5
Yellowcard2006
I'll buy you a raincoat
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I agree, but I think I liked a lot more tracks than you did though.
12:37 PM on 03/14/09
#6
denissuxx
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The start of this review is brilliant.

Sums it up quite nicely
02:08 PM on 03/14/09
#7
DarkBlue13
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I loved this review. Well done kind sir.
03:07 PM on 03/14/09
#8
fromoc2dc
Here's Your Future!
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Really enjoyed the review.
12:48 AM on 03/15/09
#9
Nick_K99
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awesome review, i couldn't agree more with the threesome analogy.
11:43 AM on 03/16/09
Key Wii
Listen Carefully, then Read Aloud
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Will you marry me?
That was the most beautiful review I've ever read. It was exactly what I think about when I heard the album. I listened to Crawl before I bought the CD, which was the equivalent of Belt in ...Is A Real Boy for me. I heard Belt, bought the CD, and fell in love. But... I heard Crawl, bought the CD, and ended up crying myself to sleep that night.
I guess I was the jealous girlfriend laying there, watching my boyfriend fail at his dreams. lol
07:40 PM on 03/16/09
mastershake
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Will you marry me?
That was the most beautiful review I've ever read. It was exactly what I think about when I heard the album. I listened to Crawl before I bought the CD, which was the equivalent of Belt in ...Is A Real Boy for me. I heard Belt, bought the CD, and fell in love. But... I heard Crawl, bought the CD, and ended up crying myself to sleep that night.
I guess I was the jealous girlfriend laying there, watching my boyfriend fail at his dreams. lol
Hahaha thank you!

I also heard Crawl first and thought maybe they had done something quite grand.. but there is a little too much filler for my liking
The back to basics bedroom experience of new Say Anything and Saves the day should be satisfying though!
10:22 PM on 03/20/09
JorynnRace
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I think most people overhyped this record for themselves. Thankfully I read reviews like this before listening to it, and was suprised to find that I like it. A lot. I don't even think there is a lot of filler to it either. Maybe its just that I was never a huge fan of early Saves the Day material, so the fact that it sounds more like stuff from Sound the Alarm is a plus for me.

Just thought I'd put in for the few of us who actually like the record.
06:30 AM on 03/22/09
_Andrew
Is Cool.
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I didn't think it was too-too bad.
08:15 AM on 03/24/09
nickthehick2
King of France
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I enjoy this album
08:49 PM on 04/06/09
Key Wii
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Hahaha thank you!

I also heard Crawl first and thought maybe they had done something quite grand.. but there is a little too much filler for my liking
The back to basics bedroom experience of new Say Anything and Saves the day should be satisfying though!
We can only hope, right?

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