When I'm home from school, I get to sleep in my own bed, I get to see my family, I get to eat home cooked food and go to actual restaurants, I get to sleep in as late as I want, I have an internet connection that actually works, and I get to be alone for a little while.
But as much as I love all of those things, the being alone part really fucking sucks late at night.
Like right now.
I always end up wanting to talk to the people who don't want me in their lives anymore, or the people who used to care so much about me but don't anymore, or the people who I used to be so close to but drifted away from.
And tonight, I didn't talk to any of those people. I wanted to. God, I wanted to so bad. Just to see their names light up my phone or hear their voices one more time. That's all I wanted.
Instead, I turned my phone off.
Instead, I'm going to put on my favorite t-shirt and sweatpants, turn the lights off, curl up under the covers of my own bed, and probably cry.
That's all I can let myself do anymore. I have to let go.