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Now, Tonight, Now
|Now, Tonight, Now|
08/15/12 at 10:09 PM by Jason Tate
|I'm sitting on my balcony, three beers and two albums in. I'm staring at a half-burned streetlight. I see a couple locked in some version of an embrace on the corner. I so badly want to believe in truth and that love is real. I can't shake the hot wind across my face -- I can't shake the voice in my head begging for a sign. Anything. I look up, I can't see the stars. Wrong sign. |
I'm fumbling for the volume button -- I know when I get like this I just need to turn it up. I need to drown out my own thoughts. Come on, just give me what I need ... just sing the words I am dying to hear.
The car alarm is ringing over the sound of her voice in my ears -- solution? Clearly "Oh. Hi." needs to be louder. I need this Cacie, whatcha got for me tonight?
Some would say I've started wearing my heart too plain on my sleeve. I'd say take it or leave it.
The bass is in my chest now. That's what I was looking for. There's proof something can still live there. I need to know I can still feel something.
If this doesn't do it -- just slap a toe tag on me. The couple's embrace ends. Without words I can't tell if they're staying together or breaking up. This snapshot of their life reveals nothing. This moment remains unremarkable.
The drums hit the back of my ear drums now. I can see him kiss her. There's a moment of hesitation in her head tilt ... love? Regret? Don't they always go hand in hand?
Funny how the first date and the last parallel so closely. The tension. The awkward touching. That moment when you know you have to part ...
Maybe, I'm projecting. Find that thread to pull and we can watch it unravel.
That fucking piano keeps my blood pumping. And of course there'd be a violin weaving into the background. Of course.
Maybe that's the sign. Maybe I just want it to be.