That's right. its almost 4 am and I'm awake. my first thought: thank god i don't have to work tomorrow. and then my second thought is back to the same old loop that keeps playing through my head. i wish i could stop fucking things up. i wish i could sleep. i wish i could go back in time and had just explained why the fuck i was losing it. i wish any of it mattered. i wish i could sleep. i wish my phone would go off.