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| acanadiangod's Blog
| | Destination: Nothing |
Do you ever realize how empty everything is after something that brings you happiness? After the sun sets. After the alcohol metabolizes. After the green turns to ash. After the break up. After the graduation. What's that constant?
I need to find it. | | Tags: rant, wakeupblondie, full, collapse, |
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| | I've been waiting for so long |
I'm not sad anymore, I'm just tired of this place.
The above is sung in The Wonder Years' The Upsides. It caused me to have a revelation, an epiphany more or less. I take a look at my peers, everyone's so fucking depressed. It makes me depressed. Half my friends are on Prozac and drown in self-pity. I'm no stranger to that, but there are the upsides. Don't let them go unnoticed.
The last two years for me have been less than ideal. I've fucked with drugs, Rx and ones that have landed me in sticky situations. I used to be like that, of course we're all sad at times; that's human. I'm alive, I'm going to a good school, I have the best friends in the world, I have a passion. I see so many people mutter about their insignificant lives. I'm not going to make this a philosophical/ straight-out-of-high-school-religion-class babble, but life's fucking good. Of course I can say this from a vantage point, considering you have to hit rock bottom to know how good life feels. I'm no narcissist, but I love life.
December 29th, 2009 I was almost dead. I knew I was doing something wrong when I was found passed out on countless drugs, some of which I don't even remember, on my floor babbling incoherently.I learned the next morning I was about 1 pill/ 1 drink away from being pronounced dead, as well as certain medications are the last thing that should be taken with a drink. That's not the way I want to live my live. I was a selfish little kid, self-absorbed in getting that high. I know I'm wired to be an addict. I think about drugs more than sex, but I've been sober for three months.
New season. New music. New friends. New city. New school.
I don't want this feeling to fade. | | Tags: wakeupblondie, rant, fuck, thursday, prozac, the, upsides, cunt |
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| | This is the first song for your mixtape |
She's like buying a pack of cigarettes.
You eagerly await yourself in line, frantically going through your disheveled wallet to gather up your last couple of bucks. You're just a few minutes away from a smokey pleasure, the smell, the taste, the texture...all worth compromising eleven minutes of your life.
The bright, seducing ads claim "an extraordinary smoking experience" and demonstrates countless having fun, yet you turn your head to read the notable disclaimers about the horrors a tiny piece of paper with a plant inside of it can cause. Yet you're still a vacuous slave to the Tobacco industry. You know it'll be the untimely death of you, and you're more than well aware of its risks, but the transient five minute pleasure outweighs the future lifetime of drudgery.
You can say the same exact thing about women; you get mixed signals.
On one hand you know the disclaimers are you intuition; the one who you should trust. "This girl isn't worth it", "she's using me", "she'll be gone in months, why invest my time in her?" These are just a few of the thoughts from men about women, but the cigarette, the short term satisfaction is all we lust after, not sex, but that accompaniment that makes us complete. | | Tags: girls, rant, cigarette, smoking, smoke, wakeupblondie |
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| | Third Eye Blind- Ursa Major (2009) |
Think back to your childhood; who was your role model or idol? Every person thirty-something and under will always hold a special place in their heart for the 90’s, one of the most changing and innovative times of the millennium. We saw everything from the rise of the internet to the stint of High School massacres. While the Boy Band trend was polluting every major radio station, the Seattle grunge scene was on its demise, and the emo movement was still in full force (Jimmy Eat World, Saetia, Sunny Day Real Estate, etc.), silently sweeping grimy clubs in Washington D.C. to packed arena in L.A., Third Eye blind was on the rise, soon to be one of the most memorable and influential bands of the 90’s.
Saying that Third Eye Blind is the biggest musical influence on me would already be stating the obvious. Of course this review will be full of bias, I grew up listening to this band; they’re here to stay. Unfortunately, the band has a stigma of being a “one hit wonder”, due to the large commercial success of “Semi-charmed life.” What the mainstream doesn’t know is that underneath the poppy “do do do’s” and catchy chord progression, a violent addiction to crystal meth is discussed. There are millions of copies of their 1997 self-titled release, half of which wasting away, collecting dust in hole-in-the-wall discount record stores. Their most recent effort, Ursa Major, will be that Pledge cleaner to remove the dust on their reputation, and bring Third Eye Blind back.
Third Eye Blind has countless fair-weather fans, claiming to “love” them, but alas, only has “Semi-Charmed Life” on their ipod. It was challenging to watch their performance, thirty-something drunk couples were mumbling the words to one, maybe to song. There were twenty, at most, die-hard fans in the room, Pouring their heart out in songs such as “Motorcycle Drive-by” and “The Background”, as they were a mere ten feet from their idols. No further preamble or introduction needed, if you’re a true fan, stop reading. Please go buy Ursa Major, you won’t regret it.
| | Tags: third, eye, blind, ursa, major, review, wakeupblondie |
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| | All Time Ex- Music elitist |
All Time Low is a love/hate band. I used to be a hater. I would be the prototypical music elitist/ snob; you know, the type that shuns modern pop-punk music while bragging about being a Neutral Milk Hotel fan. While I still have my roots in Death Cab For Cutie, Radiohead, and Thursday, I'm not looking for music to be reinventing the wheel; Sometimes it's all about fun. When it's a warm Saturday night and you're rolling around with your best friends in your car with the windows down, you're not looking for a revolutionary CD such as Radiohead's OK Computer. You're not looking for a depressing, lamenting voice about the struggle of the human race. In my case, I'm just looking to have fun. Simple, upbeat powerchords, and sappy lyrics will encourage hand claps rather than self-loathing.
Go support an energetic, deserving band such as All Time Low.
 | | Tags: all, time, low, nothing, personal, blog, review, wakeupblondie |
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| | Standing on the Edge of Summer |
She said, "Don't be anxious! Just enjoy life and always wear a smile." I aptly replied with a smile and the obligatory "I'll try."
Some people are just oblivious to others' problems and spew out pep talks left and right full of loaded words. Do you think I choose to live like this? Do I do this for my own enjoyment and entertainment? That would be pretty fucked up if I did, but unfortunately, there's a medical disorder I have; anxiety. It's like if I were to say, "Don't have diabetes!" There's only so much you can do, until it reaches a point of a total shutdown.
Contrary to scientific theories, anxiety is using nothing built upon nothing after nothing, but somehow matter appears. I idolize Max Bemis not only for his vivid lyrics and superior singer-songwriter abilities, but for his openness of anxiety disorder and bi-polar. We're often scared of one another, telling someone these things would only make it worse. For now, I shall live vicariously through Mr. Bemis.
 | | Tags: max, bemis, say, anything, anxiety, fuck, balls, tag, wakeupblondie |
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| | | Angels and Errors |
The word "problems" has become too cliche, maybe they're just my own imagination. Doctors, scientists, and other over-analyzing people in white coats call it a chemical unbalance in your brain, further suppressing feelings and emotions turning you into nothing short of a lying robot. A voice for the (Insert drug) company.
What can't a little more chemicals in your brain do for you?
If I didn't over think that, I'm sure I'd be fine right now, needless to say this blog wouldn't exist. These colorfully packaged pills trick the swallower that a quick fix can escape all of life's problems. Feeling down? Here's a (insert drug). Pop. Swallow. Repeat.
It seems the outcome of taking these pills of deceit leads back to the very reason why people take them; lies and disappointment. Life's a lie, you take it. You take it, the pill was manufactured by machines hundreds of thousands of miles away, somewhere in Asia. You're lying to nature.
But we still do it. | | Tags: blog, rant, life, fuck, full, collapse, wakeupblondie, anxiety |
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