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Album Review
Katy Perry - Teenage Dream Album Cover

Katy Perry - Teenage Dream

Reviewed by
6.6
Katy Perry - Teenage Dream
Record Label: Capitol Records
Release Date: August 24th, 2010
Grab a stopwatch, and a radio; also, maybe a cold drink or a cigarette. Start the stopwatch, and turn on the most popular top 40 station in your area. How long does it take before a song you can sing all of is played? Mark the time down. Now stop the clock, and go grab a piece of paper. A second cigarette is probably deserved at this point as well. Restart the stopwatch, but now, mark down every time you hear these words for thirty minutes: ‘smash, Bieber, new, Miley, hit, Taio,’ and ‘countdown.’ Now you have your two statistics. Add them together, and divide by two. What you have here is your radio ‘enjoyment to annoyance’ ratio. This is the most accurate way of finding out how many minutes you will enjoy the radio before you become annoyed. If your E2A is lower than 47, stop here. Why, you ask? Oh, whoops, I must’ve rambled too far to mention this; I’m reviewing Katy Perry!

Let me preface all of this before too many negative accusations are hurled my way: this album is a disaster lyrically, the synthesizer is done to death, and Ms. Perry doesn’t have a solo writing credit on any of these songs. I’m not trying to make this out to be the next 52nd Street or Off The Wall. I just want to get the point across that music on the radio isn’t always completely throwaway. With one of the most entertaining mainstream summer albums in recent memory, Teenage Dream is Katy Perry’s best album to date, and could be enjoyed by many more people if the average American’s E2A was lowered. All substance and talent arguments aside, I have no problem with saying I enjoy the new Katy Perry album. Are we good to move on now? Thank you.

Yeah, that one dude, she has huge breasts, we’re not blind. Is it out of your system?

One Of The Guys, Perry’s major label debut, was a number of things. It was immature, it was a necessary separation from the shadow of her preacher parents, it was responsible for her sex icon status, but most of all, it was a guaranteed ride to superstardom. Now 25 and engaged, Teenage Dream is her attempt at tackling maturity, as well as putting a personal spin on situations that affect anyone and everyone from age 16-25, such as dealing with extreme fame, being extremely attractive in southern California, and even suffering from a breakup with self-proclaimed philanthropist and Hollywood treasure Travie McCoy; very relatable stuff here.

Every genre has that star producer/co-writer. Crappy rap music has Scott Storch, country has that guy that used to be married to Shania Twain, and pop music has Max Martin. Pairing up with Ms. Perry yet again, the two have sculpted at least five sure-fire Top 5 hits. Dripping with infectiousness throughout, a majority of these songs are catchy in different ways. ‘Teenage Dream,’ ‘California Gurls,’ ‘E.T.’ and ‘Firework’ are sure to be on your best friend’s ‘Sumer Partie Mix!!’ Girls all the world around are sure to lose their mind with the best female anthem since something by Destiny’s Child, ‘T.G.I.F. (Last Friday Night),’ and both ‘The One That Got Away’ and ‘Who Am I Living For?’ are gearing up to be this year’s ‘Unfaithful.’ With so many options for success, this album is undoubtedly going multi-platinum, and seeing as it’s not completely atrocious, I’ll mark this under success.

It shouldn’t go unsaid, though, that when this album misses, it misses. *I shivered right here and made that ‘aaaggh’ noise. Gust of wind hit me at the all-too-right time* Upon hearing ‘Peacock,’ I thought to myself when songs oh so subtly written about the boner will disappear. Add in two terrible remixes and a song about passing out in a bathtub (I think?) and you have the perfect way to cancel out the fact that half this album is surprisingly very good. Another thing that irked me the first few spins through is that this album, as is the case with most extreme pop music, could easily be just a 50-minute song. Yeah, there’s fast & slow songs, ballads, party anthems, but all in all, none of these tracks are that differentiable from each other.

The average American’s E2A is 25. Only those in the 95th E2A percentile or higher (about 770,000 Americans) can enjoy an entire pop album from front to back without any dips of annoyance. So for those of you meandering around the middle of the E2A results, pick and choose wisely, because this CD will eventually get on your nerves. However, for those of you like me, with a nearly endless capability of withstanding the radio, put Teenage Dream on repeat. You’ve just found either your next guilty pleasure or album of the year.

Track Listing1. Teenage Dream
2. Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)
3. California Gurls
4. Firework
5. Peacock
6. Circle The Drain
7. The One That Got Away
8. E.T.
9. Who Am I Living For?
10. Pearl
11. Hummingbird Heartbeat
12. Not Like The Movies


RIYL Pop; The Radio; It's Katy Perry; You just know
This review is a user submitted review from Cody Nelson. You can see all of Cody Nelson's submitted reviews here.
 
Displaying posts 1 - 15 of 18
08:45 PM on 09/04/10
#2
xapplexpiex
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I like this review. I have a low E2A, but I was surprised to find I enjoy what I have heard from the album. And yeah, I've heard several complaints already about Peacock. I don't think I'll get the album, but I certainly won't turn the radio station at work when she's on.
01:07 PM on 09/05/10
#3
newfoundmichael
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This review was very informative. Nice work.
03:40 PM on 09/05/10
#4
Cody Nelson
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This review was very informative. Nice work.
I can't tell if you're kidding.
04:42 PM on 09/05/10
#5
vivatoto56
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Fantastic opening paragraph.

I was reading this and it was killing me trying to think of where I read it before (because I knew I had just read like the exact same review.)

I then realized it's because I bookmarked Nothing Sounds Better haha.
09:18 PM on 09/05/10
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brook183
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Bad Review
09:20 PM on 09/05/10
#7
vivatoto56
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Bad Post
10:42 PM on 09/05/10
#8
newfoundmichael
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I can't tell if you're kidding.
I'm being serious. Not being a dick at all. I liked the E2A paragraph at the beginning. Sorry it came off that way, ha.
08:23 AM on 09/06/10
#9
Cody Nelson
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10:44 AM on 09/06/10
RadiantEyes
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Good...It's about time someone (sort of) trolled on this...

Great opening paragraph, and overall truthful review..I may want to make a statistical sheet now...

She is talented, I'll give her that...but, I would've much more respect for this doll...if she co-wrote her songs...I read an article (Rolling Stone) on her saying that she writes songs, and when she got signed... She played the signing agent, a song she wrote...I would be very interested if she released an album of her own songs that she wrote... I don't know...Maybe I'm asking to much...
05:19 PM on 09/06/10
domotime2
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the review was...okay. A bit too rambly (it's a word).

the album was terrible, she is by far my least favorite pop artist on the radio.
07:28 PM on 09/07/10
cshadows2887
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You know I like the way you write, Cody, but I felt like this one may have pushed your quirky/well-written ratio a bit too far to one side.
02:09 PM on 09/08/10
Nick860
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but shes so hot, 10 for sex appeal.
11:48 PM on 09/09/10
Auals
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Good...It's about time someone (sort of) trolled on this...

Great opening paragraph, and overall truthful review..I may want to make a statistical sheet now...

She is talented, I'll give her that...but, I would've much more respect for this doll...if she co-wrote her songs...I read an article (Rolling Stone) on her saying that she writes songs, and when she got signed... She played the signing agent, a song she wrote...I would be very interested if she released an album of her own songs that she wrote... I don't know...Maybe I'm asking to much...
The one she released under her own name was mostly her, there's a song called Simple which you need to hear, it's brilliant. Something that I wouldn't even call a pop song.

Anyway...

I love Katy, but I can't stand this album, my E2A is really low, and I really like her first album but I can't stand this one. Nice review.

09:00 AM on 09/10/10
RadiantEyes
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The one she released under her own name was mostly her, there's a song called Simple which you need to hear, it's brilliant. Something that I wouldn't even call a pop song.

Anyway...

I love Katy, but I can't stand this album, my E2A is really low, and I really like her first album but I can't stand this one. Nice review.

It's actually a good song....it's alright...but imagine she got famous off of this...

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