The kids won't come around tonight.
"Wilmer Valderrama talked about his Hollywood conquests during an appearance on Howard Stern yesterday. Among his revelations were that Lindsay Lohan was one of the best girl's he's ever had slept with, Ashlee Simpson was loud in bed and Jennifer Love Hewitt rated an "eight" out of ten when it came to sex. He also claimed that he's been with two women at once and engaged in anal sex with a famous actress, who he refused to name. Valderrama claims his penis is "slightly bigger" than eight inches, and that he's videotaped his sexual escapades on numerous occasions, but erased the tapes to keep them from being linked on the internet. Reading about Wilmer Valderramma's sex life is like murdering a clown - you don't really want to do it, but in the end you can't help yourself. I simply don't understand how in God's name this guy gets all this - oh wait, the eight inch penis. Yeah, that might explain it."
Jennifer Love Hewitt, wow.