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03:53 PM on 01/14/13 
#1
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OctoberOrigins
Jack
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Omaha, NE
Undeclared - 21 Years Old
I recently moved in to my new university dorm. This is my first time living on a campus, and really haven't socialized much since junior year of high school. I have dealt with a debilitating anxiety problem for several years, and was isolated as a result. Combined with my depression, it's led to struggles with self-harm and suicide.

I attended an online high school my senior year, and have finished only one course in-person in my year and a half of being a part-time student at the local community college. Now I'm trying to take a big step by going to a university, living on campus, and going to classes. The problem? I have no idea how or where to meet people, or to overcome shyness when I finally do meet new people.

I'm already isolating despite only living here two days. Through therapy the last few years, I'm learning to cope with the anxiety once it's already there and as a result felt comfortable making a step. But I guess I don't fully understand how to overcome the hesitancy towards talking to people.

I guess I don't have a specific question, just looking for advice. I know this is kind of an awkward and silly post, but I'm terrified that my anxiety is going to cause me to relapse.
04:28 PM on 01/14/13 
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deanster321
BLEGH
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Birmingham/Huddersfi...
Male - 23 Years Old
The best thing I can think to say is try to approach it as low risk/high reward, don't put other people on pedestals, and acknowledge that you're all strangers and they're probably not completely confident about it either, but it's ultimately more likely than not that they're fundamentally nice people who are looking to socialise and make friends themselves.
04:46 PM on 01/14/13 
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Niqueinred
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New Zealand
Female - 19 Years Old
This may seem sad, but from my experience it's easier to approach the opposite sex. Not for romantic gains but for more support. Then once you've gained those connections get to know males alike, but it's harder to pick them out of the crowd when you've no one to point them out. I've always been shy and got along with guys more. Once you've got your close friends they will be by your side to help you through the anxiety and woman are generally more empathetic than males. Chin up :) I'm going through the same sort of anxiety, I was forced to do home school nearly all of my school years and this year I will do my last year of learning at a proper highschool in hope to better my qualifications. It's going to be scary, but I'm being optimistic about it. I will make new friends in the area I'm now living and try to stay out of too much conflict.
04:59 PM on 01/14/13 
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cococrisp20
3Hunna
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Leave your door open, try to make conversation with people on your floor. Also DEFINITELY join some kind of club/fraternity/organization, since many have their spring callouts now.
05:03 PM on 01/14/13 
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anamericangod
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Georgia
Male - 28 Years Old
Verified
See a legit psychologist. Consider seeing a psychiatrist.
05:04 PM on 01/14/13 
#6
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OctoberOrigins
Jack
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Omaha, NE
Undeclared - 21 Years Old
The best thing I can think to say is try to approach it as low risk/high reward, don't put other people on pedestals, and acknowledge that you're all strangers and they're probably not completely confident about it either, but it's ultimately more likely than not that they're fundamentally nice people who are looking to socialise and make friends themselves.
I'm trying, but I struggle because I've met so many people who seemed nice enough at first, but then they become total assholes. And I'm afraid to go through that again
This may seem sad, but from my experience it's easier to approach the opposite sex. Not for romantic gains but for more support. Then once you've gained those connections get to know males alike, but it's harder to pick them out of the crowd when you've no one to point them out. I've always been shy and got along with guys more. Once you've got your close friends they will be by your side to help you through the anxiety and woman are generally more empathetic than males. Chin up :) I'm going through the same sort of anxiety, I was forced to do home school nearly all of my school years and this year I will do my last year of learning at a proper highschool in hope to better my qualifications. It's going to be scary, but I'm being optimistic about it. I will make new friends in the area I'm now living and try to stay out of too much conflict.
I definitely feel more comfortable around women, so I've kinda been thinking along those lines too. I just feel if there's not some form of connection, like i can't just randomly say 'hi' unless i have something to say. I'm hoping to be able to use class as an excuse eventually, but no luck so far.
05:07 PM on 01/14/13 
#7
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OctoberOrigins
Jack
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Omaha, NE
Undeclared - 21 Years Old
See a legit psychologist. Consider seeing a psychiatrist.

I do see a psychiatrist.
05:08 PM on 01/14/13 
#8
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OctoberOrigins
Jack
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Omaha, NE
Undeclared - 21 Years Old
Leave your door open, try to make conversation with people on your floor. Also DEFINITELY join some kind of club/fraternity/organization, since many have their spring callouts now.
I should probably look into clubs. That might be a good excuse to be around a smaller group of people. thanks!
05:13 PM on 01/14/13 
#9
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anamericangod
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Georgia
Male - 28 Years Old
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I do see a psychiatrist.

Do you see a psychologist or a psychiatrist?
05:15 PM on 01/14/13 
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OctoberOrigins
Jack
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Omaha, NE
Undeclared - 21 Years Old
Do you see a psychologist or a psychiatrist?

Psychiatrist. I've seen psychologists in the past for psychological testing though.
05:21 PM on 01/14/13 
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Kassie09
in the empire business
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Pittsburgh, PA
Female - 24 Years Old
Do you have a roommate? Meeting people in the dorms is easy.

Definitely join some clubs. I wouldn't really have any friends at all if I hadn't joined multiple organizations. You have to put yourself out there to make friends. It'll happen easy. Don't let the anxiety ruin an awesome experience for you, you're in charge! Also see a counselor person at school, I go to one and they help a bunch cause they know what things are like on campus and they could even have some good ideas of clubs for you to join.
08:16 PM on 01/14/13 
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JamieTheSonger
05 Fuck Em
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New York City
Male - 19 Years Old
Clubs are often the easiest way of speaking to people. If it's something that you're interested in, it's much easier to talk about without feeling anxious since you're comfortable with the topic.
08:33 PM on 01/14/13 
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Ollie McKraut
Registered Member
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Male - 23 Years Old
Abuse alcohol and recreational drugs. It's the best 4 years of your life lol
11:46 PM on 01/14/13 
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seymourbuttes
I'd do anything for a free t-shirt
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Seattle
Male - 23 Years Old
I recently moved in to my new university dorm. This is my first time living on a campus, and really haven't socialized much since junior year of high school. I have dealt with a debilitating anxiety problem for several years, and was isolated as a result. Combined with my depression, it's led to struggles with self-harm and suicide.

I attended an online high school my senior year, and have finished only one course in-person in my year and a half of being a part-time student at the local community college. Now I'm trying to take a big step by going to a university, living on campus, and going to classes. The problem? I have no idea how or where to meet people, or to overcome shyness when I finally do meet new people.

I'm already isolating despite only living here two days. Through therapy the last few years, I'm learning to cope with the anxiety once it's already there and as a result felt comfortable making a step. But I guess I don't fully understand how to overcome the hesitancy towards talking to people.

I guess I don't have a specific question, just looking for advice. I know this is kind of an awkward and silly post, but I'm terrified that my anxiety is going to cause me to relapse.

Get tipsy... Carry around a flask, and take a swig or two until you feel a friendly buzz coming along. I find I'm much more outgoing that way.
02:31 AM on 01/15/13 
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deanster321
BLEGH
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Birmingham/Huddersfi...
Male - 23 Years Old
I'm trying, but I struggle because I've met so many people who seemed nice enough at first, but then they become total assholes. And I'm afraid to go through that again
You just have to convince yourself that in the grand scheme of things the likelihood of that happening again is relatively pretty slim if you're putting yourself out there, and that stuff like that is only as horrible as you let it be anyway.



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